Expectations

Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go and write it down, and either you dramatize it or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to.

Time

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

Nothing Else Matters

The comments don't matter to me, although they are nice to read. The follower count doesn't matter to me. Every single person could unfollow my blog and I wouldn't care. What matters to me most is that I'm able to go through every single post that I have made and recall every single emotion that I felt.

Momma

Around April of 2010, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was at the peak of my Junior year and stressed with AP classes, grades, and your typical high school drama. Then out of nowhere mom had cancer. Bad news never has good timing. I'm not saying it came at an inconvenient time, just when it hit me, I broke down. I was powerless. I couldn't do anything. I almost gave up everything. School. Hope. Life. There was always the question why? Why her? Why not me? All my mother did was give and ask for nothing back, but yet she was given such a horrid, inhumane gift back. Bad things really do happen to good people. I was mad. Furious. I hated the world. Hated everything, everyone. I felt alone. I felt like no one knew what I went home to everyday. To see her lying there, in pain, hopeless. This wasn't my mother that I was used to coming home to everyday. But to this day, she hasn't once seen me break down. I have to be strong for her. It would be selfish of me to give up. That is why I have been to every single one of her chemo treatments and doctor appointments. And over time, if anything, it has made us stronger and closer. I have grown to appreciate the times we share together. She is my hero and the strongest person that I know. We can get through this together and there is no giving up hope. Currently it has been 1 month since I've seen my mom and dad. She and my dad are at MD Anderson Cancer Center to get her surgery and do 6 weeks of radiation. However, her surgery was two weeks ago today and after removing 32 lymph nodes biopsy reports back "all clear of cancer"(: She is very lucky woman and I couldn't be happier! I have so many people to thank who have thought about her and have helped me along the way. I miss her so much it hurts, but I know she is doing better everyday and are very happy that my dad is down there with her. I love you mom and your the reason I live on day by day in this endless sea of hope(: Miss you dearly.

           Love, your awaiting daughter

Inspiration

 Inspiration struck me today, in school none the less, as one of my good friends Mallory Dixon (mallorydixon.blogspot.com) showed me a spectacular website by the name of blogspot. She showed me the ways of this website and how it helped her venture her ways through life and showed me how it could some sort of therapeutic tool for me to use when I need it. I think this will be a good thing right? Even if no one reads it, typing it out, letting it out can put my stressful mind at ease and let my mind venture else where. So I am eternally grateful to Ms. Dixon. She has shown me hope and inspires me everyday (:

The inspirer herself, Ms.Mallory Dixon (: she is the sunshine to my day and is one of a kind