This is the End

I have come to the point when I say ‘fuck off’ to my sad, melancholic state.
See, I’m starting to hate being sad.
I’m starting to despise getting myself depressed by thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking too much about.
I’m starting to loathe the urges to write forlorn and crappy letters that should never see the light of day.
I’m starting to abhor my pathetic self.
I’ve been sad enough, I’ve grieved enough.
I need to suck it up.
To start, I’m watching comedy movies and tv shows and then read funny (and disgustingly sweet) books.
Call it escapism, whatever. Lord knows I need a laugh.
A wise man once said, ‘When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.’ I’ll be taking heed of those words.

Stronger

Look, I’m sorry I’m not as strong as you all are. I wish that I were, but I’m not. I’m not like any of you. I just handle things differently, so, please, just let me go back to bed and deal with things the only way that I know how.

Don’t Ever Use Someone’s Past Against Them

You're just reminding them
of the mistakes they made back then.
If you watch their facial expression
carefully, then you'll see the hurt
in their eyes as they reminisce
everything that happened. Never
use emotion as a weapon, it strikes
deeper than you could imagine.

Never Coming Back

It almost seems like when we grow closer, you become scared. So you push me away. You're afraid to get hurt again. Instead, I'm the one that gets hurt. Guess what? This time I'm not coming back.

Wounds

For months I busied myself with school, not even tending to the wound I made when I cut you off from my life. It was huge. It was gaping. It was foolishly waiting for you to fix it. But you never did. You were happy. You were finally free of me, the annoying tumor that demanded your constant attention.

My Story

I constantly wonder how my life looks in other people's eyes. Do they think I have it easy? Do they think I have nothing going on for myself? Or are they fascinated with who I am? The thing is that no one will ever know my whole story. No one will ever know the things I've had to overcome. Not even my closest friends, not even my own family. the thing is that people are so quick to judge now a days. You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. I always try to look as put together as I can, and I guess that's my way of hiding the truth. It's just that that way everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay. That holding on for dear life on this one last strand that's recently become very delicate. The truth is that no one really knows me. No one will ever know me, and sometimes that scares me, because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.

Hot and Cold

It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s crazy how you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and you want to move on, but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have so many things to say, but you don’t know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. It’s so hard to look back at how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different, and they may never be the same again. You tell yourself it’s not worth it, but if it really didn’t matter, you wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about it.

Frustration

Honestly, I’m tired. I’m tired of the manipulation, the mind games, the guilt, the doubts, the theatrics, the misunderstandings, the expectations. Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?

Relief

You know how you can stubbornly hold onto something.

Despite the other person stepping on your fingers.

And then one day, you just let go?

That's what happened. I let go.

It's the strangest kind of relief.

Better Off

do you know how it feels, to let go of someone you really love for a long time, just for them to be happy

In the End

Which means that at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.

Oftentimes

When people

are miserable, they will

want to make other

people feel miserable, too.

But it never helps.

That Feeling

I hate looking at myself and realizing that I don't like what I see. I hate looking back at things I did and wondering why I was like that. Every day there's something wrong. Just one trivial thing that can make me unhappy for just a moment. It's like it's not even possible to have a day without a bad feeling.

Hurry Up

Perspective basically guarantees that there's no such thing as a pure emotion. Every emotion is based on how sucky (or not) something is in relation to something else that has already happened. It kind of makes me wish that the worst thing that will ever happen to me will just hurry up and happen already. That way I could live the rest of my life in bliss, if only because I know how much worse things could be.

Emotions

I usually let my emotions take over me. It takes me to a different level where I can be the most bitchiest girl ever, the sweetest girl ever, or the saddest girl in the world. My emotions are fucked up, but don’t hate me for it. I can’t please everyone, so bear with me. I’m only human.